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Articles (65 articles)

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Balancing Work and Life
You’ve probably heard the saying that no one looks back on his deathbed and wishes he had spent more time at the office. Trouble is, that’s not necessarily the way your supervisor looks at things.In today’s competitive work...
A Dozen Do’s for Couples in Conflict
As a therapist who works with couples, the three words I most fear hearing from any newly-established pair are:  “We never fight.”Individuals new to a relationship must fight.  Of course, I don’t mean breaking dishes,...
New Relationshps: Finding your rhythm
Starting a new relationship can feel a bit disorienting.At first everything is exciting; this is what you’ve always wanted, right? Months or years – seems like a lifetime – of dating, and all of a sudden here he is!...
New Relationships: Nurturing takes time
Part 2. (Read Part 1 here.)Nurturing new relationships takes time and effort.  Let’s look at two uncomfortable issues that can come up:  arguments and sexual interest.Perhaps you’re home with Mr. Right and you have your first...
What A Difference An Age Makes
As my spouse Mitchell and I approach our 27th anniversary, our 7-year difference in age is much more prominent to us than it’s been for some time.At age 56, I am envisioning slowing down, relinquishing work and ambition, enjoying my...
The Faux Romance
In the past few columns, I’ve written about various attributes of healthy relationships.  I’ve noted the unique courage of same-sex couples, the profound honesty of such icons as Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy, and even...
Gay Men and Masculinity
Gay men have an ambivalent attitude towards masculinity. The word comes up all the time in personal ads – you know, “masculine guy seeks same.” We often equate masculine with sexy. At the same time, many gay men privately worry...
'Mentally, I'm just not into sex right now'
Dear Joe,I came out only five years ago, after being in an 11-year heterosexual relationship where toward the end, the sex stopped cold. For me, obviously it never felt satisfying.  Since coming out, I’ve learned to really enjoy being...
Changing Your Relationship Perspective
Want to change your relationship? Change your point of view. I enjoy being a therapist for many reasons, but mostly because people are just so darn interesting. We’re all the same in some ways, and yet so different in others. Someone told me...
Coping With Relationship Emergencies
Sometimes events overtake us.  Whether it is an out-of-the-blue surprise like the exposing of an affair or the accumulated discontent that comes from neglecting the health of a relationship, we are suddenly facing a confrontation. ...

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